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The story of the God-sized things that are happening in Rome, Italy during the life of Chris Rule.
God Loves That Guy
“God loves that guy.”
These four simple words have been hitting me with all the subtlety of a baseball bat to the head for the last twenty-four hours.
“God loves that guy.” The chorus to a song off a new CD by Andy Gullahorn was the catalyst to something that had been bothering for a couple days. Let me explain by starting from the beginning.
It usually takes me a while to pick up when God is speaking to me, so it often takes a couple swings for his truth to sink in. The first swing was a book I am reading, “The Divine Conspiracy” by Dallas Willard, which is rocking my boat on some assumptions I have had for quite some time about living the Christian life. There are no new truths revealed in the book, just old truths told in a new way. In a part I recently read, he says
“In Paul’s first letter to the church in
If I, as a recovering sinner myself, accept Jesus’ good news, I can go to the mass murderer and say, “You can be blessed in the kingdom of the heavens. There is forgiveness that knows no limits. To the pederast and the perpetrator of incest. To the worshiper of Satan. To those who rob the aged and weak. To the cheat and the liar, the bloodsucker and the vengeful: Blessed! Blessed! Blessed! As they flee into the arms of The Kingdom Among Us.”
This didn’t really sink in on me. I guess it is “Christian theology” that I have always heard, that everyone can be forgiven. So I read it, thought “cool” and kept reading. Granted, this blessing comes with the condition to “flee into the arms of The Kingdom Among Us,” but of course it is available for all who turn from their own ways. That is what I have always been taught.
The second swing was the recent shooting in a church in
It upset me. I thought, “How can he not forgive this guy if Jesus offered forgiveness to the very men who nailed him to the cross.” So I sat in my own self-righteous tower and stewed over how to best respond to my friend, how to “correct him.” I am sure the part of me that I usually keep hidden was saying, “If only my friend could learn the true meaning of God’s love. If only he could learn to forgive as Christ forgave, like I have learned.”
Then I listened to the song by Andy Gullahorn. And he wrote about a suicide bomber. The family deserter. And followed each story by “God loves that guy.” Simple words yet I couldn’t shake them.
And it became personal. What if that suicide bomber killed my brothers, my parents? What if that guy that deserted his family was my dad? What if that shooter had been in my church, killed my best friends? I stopped all the theorizing about “God loves the rapist and the murderer” and made it personal. Would I still want God to love that guy?
And the sad truth was, I probably wouldn’t. I talked to a friend who doesn’t believe in God earlier this week about forgiveness and boldly told him, “I would try to forgive anyone for anything.” Later, I talked with my Christian friends about how I would punch a guy in the face for trying to inappropriately touch a friend of mine on the bus. No, God doesn’t ever condone sin, yet God offers forgiveness to the sinner if they will turn.
“God loves that guy.”
I still can’t shake it. And my bastion of self-righteousness is beginning to crumble. God loves that guy. And I… well I have a hard loving people. Yet I am called to do that. If I call myself a Christian, a follower of Jesus, then I am forced to pay attention when he says, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matt
If I refuse to forgive, I refuse to acknowledge my need for forgiveness. My common need for a savior. Because according to the standards set by Jesus, I am “that guy.” I am a liar, a thief (stole from my sister in elementary school), a cheat (tests in high school), an adulterer (Matt
Forgiveness isn’t natural. Yet it is to what we are called (Ephesians
“God loves that guy.” God loves me. Simple, childlike though it may be, there is probably more profound truth to the old song “Yes, Jesus Loves Me” than I will ever know. I want to learn to love like that.
Prayerfully, quite soon I will have internet in my apartment. And when I do, you are in for a treat, dear reader. Because I have a lot of ideas and stories to tell. But for now, I was asked this question in an email by a dear, trusted mentor of mine. "Why is marriage (or some kind of relationship with the opposite sex) the main theme of music , literature , and movies, yet so little Scripture focuses on this....Scripture talks about what we need to give instead of utopian dreams of what we are going to get. What is it that Scripture does talk more about ? What should our priorities really be??" ... So this is my response to this... enjoy and respond with your own ideas.
I have had the chance to think (very briefly and writing this blog is a way of me processing through this) about marriage, priorities, and what the Bible says about all this. I think that music, literature, and movies all hit on this theme of marriage because a lost (and found) world is looking for love. The closest example that we can come up with of love (and don't tell me Jesus didn't talk A LOT about love) is marriage or sacrifice. If a movie doesn't hit on marriage (or often the case, simply sex and "commitment"), it often has the main character make a sacrifice.
Scripture is a story of redemptive love, of a God redeeming us from our fallen state and uniting in a relationship with us… perhaps there is something redemptive about marriage. About taking two individuals whose first care is themselves and having them make a commitment to caring about someone else more than themselves. A little redemption is often found in self-sacrifice. Perhaps this is part of the reason Christ refers to the church as his bride. He showed the ultimate in love of putting us above himself… "for the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many."
As a single guy, all too often I hope that love will be found in a relationship with a girl/marriage. I think there is some truth to the cliché saying that "you will find her when you least expect it, when you stop looking." If I stop looking for love in the arms of a girl and start finding the love I need where it can only be found, in the arms of Jesus, then I can begin to understand true love. Instead of a love that is a roller coaster ride because we humans are fallible, I can find a constant love in a constant God.
Do I think that scripture talks more about what we need to give instead of utopian dreams of what we are going to get? Yes. But for Mr. A and other married couples, they probably understand that marriage and love is about what we can give, not what we get. Yes, getting figures into the equation and we are always excited to get, probably more often than we are to serve. But the more that we learn about serving and the more like Christ we become, the more of a joy it is to give. Our priorities should be in learning to love like Christ… I think that marriage is often a byproduct of learning to love… and through marriage we often learn to love more.
I tread no new ground as I seek to understand what it means to proclaim the Gospel and struggle through the questions that accompany this search. I think it is strange that as I am here in
The question of what is the Gospel is the essential question that we all need to ask and answer. I know the answer in part. I know that it is a story of the Creator and his love relationship with his creation (us). Of our fall into self indulgence and the story of the promise of redemption and the fulfillment of that promise. Of a renewed relationship, of following a risen Savior, of learning how much we need to trust and rely upon the One who knows us better than ourselves. This much I know about the Gospel.
But what I don’t know, what I think I am beginning to figure out, is what does that mean for those who call ourselves Christians. What does it really mean to be a Christian? I am reading a book called The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard right now and he says that, “the only thing made essential on the right wing of theology is forgiveness of the individual sins. On the left it is the removal of social or structural evils. The current gospel then becomes a gospel of ‘sin management.’ Transformation of life and character is no part of the redemptive message.”
I know that ‘sin management’ is not the Gospel that Jesus talked about. Despite this, I am certain that I have fallen into one or both of these categories because they are simple, easy and not too difficult to accept. The Gospel, quite literally, that Jesus preached was “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand (Matthew
I am a coward. Telling people to repent is not in my comfort zone; the honest truth is that I would much rather tell people that God loves them and leave out the part about God calling them to change, to repent. The sad truth is that I often settle for this. I offer a gospel of ‘sin management’; “God loves you, sent his Son Jesus to take away your sins, and you just need to accept that and you are a Christian.” Yes, God does love us and yes, Jesus did come to take away our sins, but he calls us to repentance. God tells us to repent, to turn from our ways.
The part that I love and am just beginning to understand is that he tells us to repent (turn) FOR the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Once again, to steal from Dallas Willard, “the gospel is the good news of the presence and availability of life in the kingdom, now and forever, through reliance on Jesus the Anointed. This was Abraham’s faith too. As Jesus said, “Abraham saw my time and was delighted” (John
I really don’t have a good handle on this; I feel like I am simply beginning to learn of the truth that God laid out for us in the Bible. But I have realized two things. One, God is calling us to repent/turn and if we are to present the Gospel in a way that is true to Jesus, we (specifically me) need to talk about this fact. The second thing I have realized is that God is calling us to more than sin management; He is calling us to true life, to something better than our meager self-supported existence. He calls us to something better.
This leaves me with hope. I know that there are cowards like me in the kingdom of heaven, because of the present reality that I can live as a child of The King (John
This freaks me out to write this, because this is completely not my style, but here is my attempt at creative writing... let me know what you think. If it is negative feedback, I will just choose not to publish it :) But in all seriousness, if you think this was worthwhile, let me know and I might try it more often. This (very short) story isn't exactly autobiographical but it has elements of truth woven into it. I tried not to be overtly spiritual in it but still wanted it to communicate a point... so yea, enjoy, let me know what you thought.
Enough
Worn out. That’s how he felt that evening, sitting on the front steps. It wasn’t the well worn, classic feel of an antique; no, at 22 he was too young for that. Everything he thought should have filled up his reserves instead brought him to this point. It shouldn’t be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
His work was what he loved. Fulfilling, meaningful, bringing life to others and himself. Yet something was missing. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something was lacking, some part of him was trying too hard to grasp onto a reality that can never be seen.
So he sat.
And waited.
Not sure what he was waiting on, he sat and stared. Stared across a scene of rolling hills and small villages dotting the country-side. This wasn’t
In
Here, the country he gazed across had the feel of sameness. He somehow felt that the town that he now gazed at in the distance could have just as easily been an outpost for ancient
Perhaps some Roman soldier, a veteran of many campaigns, used the same ancient farmhouse, where he now sat, as his retirement home. A place to grow old. To enjoy peace.
Peace.
That was what he sought. Peace from the thoughts, the fears that pestered him. The questions that he knew would never be answered, could never be answered in this life. So he sat and waited and wanted the day to come where his faith became sight.
He smiled dryly. “Only 22, what am I thinking? I don’t even know.”
So he sat.
And waited.
The colors changed as the sun sank across the sky. Not even close to dinner time, yet the golden hour had already hit. Trees became holy canopies, glowing in the setting sun; the grass became an inviting carpet, soft and lush; everything gradually transformed into something different under the influence of a dying sun.
What was once a simple Tuscan country scene became something more. It was filled with life. Not the life of living things, of people or animals, but it felt alive. It glowed with a warmth that seeped into all things, even into him.
His thoughts continued to follow their meandering path yet instead of angst they were now consumed with the beauty before him. He pulled out a camera and then put it back away. It could never capture this, he thought.
Beauty. Something far deeper than the models plastered across the bus’s and city walls. Even deeper than the beauty of the girl who had taken a piece of his heart. Beauty that a radiant bride begins to hint at, or a breathtaking sunset begins to touch, or a soaring aria makes you feel. Yes, this true beauty that he beheld was something you feel.
So he sat.
And waited.
Refreshed. As if life was gradually being poured back in. Yet none of the questions were answered. But he was ok with that. None of the proof was laid out, concrete in front of his eyes, able to touch. Yet somehow it was. Somehow the beauty laid in front of him was proof. Enough. For now, enough.