Stubborn Grace

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“Oh we of little faith,

oh You of stubborn grace”

The song “We Are The Beggars At The Foot Of God’s Door” by The Normals has been on constant rotation on my iPod this last week, at first simply because of the above stated line. The album Coming to Life by The Normals was one of my favorite albums yet for some reason I never noticed this line, or this line never hit me like it has this past week. The song title is a statement in itself but “we of little faith, oh You of stubborn grace” has been stuck in my mind.

Perhaps it is because the truth of that lyric is becoming more apparent in my life. Here in Rome, where I am supposed to be the missionary working for Agape Italia, the “professional Christian” if you will, I am learning just how much I truly am the one with little faith. A quote I read in “The Divine Conspiracy” by Dallas Willard says that, “We always live up to our beliefs – or down to them,as the case may be. Nothing else is possible.” How that is true in my life!

This past Thursday, I was on campus, supposed to be initiating conversation with students, and showcased a prime example of my little faith. One guy in particular had caught my eye, and I felt that tug to go talk to him. And so I began to walk in his direction… and walked right past him and around the corner. Ah, I was frustrated with myself and said, “I will not give up, God, I believe you can give me the right words to say as I talk to this guy.” So I turned around and walked back… and right past him again. And a third time. And a fourth. It was a good thing it was in a busy time in the day or he may have wondered, “Why the heck does this kid keep walking past me? Is he lost?” I walked away in failure, wallowing in my self-pity and rationalizing it away by saying, “I am just going to read my Bible for a half hour then talk to others.” And I never did talk to that kid on Thursday.

Which brings me to the “oh You of stubborn grace.” Stubborn grace, how I love that concept. How I have experienced it, constantly experience it every day. Friday, after a day that should have got me fired from my job as “professional Christian,” I was out striking up conversations with my teammate Kanda. We were at the Law Building looking for people to talk to and I noticed a guy sitting alone on a bench, so we went up to talk to him. Only when I said “Ciao” and he looked up did I notice that he was the same guy as the day before.

Stubborn grace. God constantly gives second chances, third chances. Though we give up on ourselves, that stubborn grace is hounding us, drawing us closer to Jesus, meeting us where we are at. We are the disciples who fled, the Israelites that ran to the golden calf, the Peter that can’t bring himself to tell Christ “I agape you.” And Christ meets us where we are at, is the one who loves us too much to let us remain the same. He is the one who gives us the chance to live in the reality of his redemption.

The last verse of the song says:

We have known the pain of loving in a dying world
And our lies have made us angry at the truth
But Cinderellas slipper fits us perfectly
And somehow were made royalty with You,
Oh we of little faith,
Oh You of stubborn grace
We are the beggars at the foot of Gods door
And You have welcomed us in

Amen